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Oh My God: Messiaen in the Ear of the Unbeliever
The Index
Alice Tully: An Intimate
Portrait (1999
memoir by Albert Fuller), 49-50, 119
All That Jazz (1979 Bob Fosse film), 9
Also Sprach Zarathustra (1883-1885 Nietzsche treatise and
1896 Richard Strauss tone poem), 28-29, 32, 111
Anderson, Nancy, 61, 73, 75, 95, 120
Apparition of the Eternal
Church (music),
7; and appeal to youth, 71-72; and autism 37; as Bach on a bad day, with
dyspepsia, 27; as balls-to-the-wall, 73; Baroque quality of, 26; block
structure of, 21, 26, 65; and blood dripping down ChristÕs chest, 55; felt in
the body, 65, 112, 113; and the body being dragged, in the dust, off into the
distance, 98; as bombastic, 74; as California condor hovering over a dead cow,
70; celestial nature of, 32; and chords attached to spinal column in some way,
67; and chords wrenching your whole body around, 67; colors heard in, 68; complexity,
61, 90-92; and contemplation of sins, 109; and crusades, holy grails and
invading armies, 52; and DanteÕs inferno, 48; and Day of Judgment, 53;
dissonance in, 60, 61, 62; and divinity, 90-92; its drama ending, becoming a
little sad, 95; earthiness of, 32, 38; earthliness of, 32; and ecstasy, 42; and
Ecstasy, 53; as so emotional, like somebody whipping their head back in
anticipation, their hair flying off their skull, 85; and eternity, 108; and
fear, 49, 64, 71-72, 108; as fist of God, 55; and floating, 65; and flute, lack
of, 41, 106; as gentiles really laying it on, 73; as getting better and better,
68; as getting to be a little much, 73; and the Gothic, 45, 51, 52; and harpies
swooshing down to tell you about all the terrible things you did in your life,
53; as headache-inducing, 70; and hell, 49, 55, 108; and horror soundtrack, 35;
as ice breaking, 38; as Ilan GreenbergÕs motherÕs soundtrack, 40; and infinity,
63; and Jesus in the desert, seeing God in a cloud, 52; and laughter in
response to, 72-73; and length, 69; as loud, 74; as magma, miasma, 38; as
making you go ahhhhhh! 66; and man with giant horns with fire licking up around
him, greeting you, 85; and martyrdom, 42, 112; MessiaenÕs description of,
63-65, 67-68, 76; minimalism of, 76; and moment of about to be killed, about to
open a door, 84; as nondirectional, 65-66; Òoh my god!Ó in response to, 49, 50,
76, 78, 84; as orgasm approaching, 66; as overwhelming, 66; painkillers, as
requiring, 89; like parent about to explode in a rage, 40; as Òpillar-like,Ó
65; pyramidal structure of, 66, 75; and rape/surrender, 35, 111, 113, 114;
recordings of, 87; and repenting sins, 79; and resolution, 64; as ridiculous,
74; as rocks moving, 38; and St. Cecelia holding you her breasts on a plate,
42; and sado-masochism/bondage & discipline (BDSM), 89, 90, 111, 114; and
St. Sebastian, 52; as seismic, 38; as self-indulgent, 70; and sex, 35, 67, 90,
95; and being smothered, 109; as staircase, 27, 62, 63, 65; and the Sisyphus
thing, 75; as stopping just as you start to think youÕre going to go crazy, 68;
and the sun setting on barren landscape, cracked earth, 98; like a swarm of
bugs in Egypt, 52; thickness and harshness of, 95; and torture, 42-43, 74, 75,
111; and 2001 Space Odyssey, 52; and the unbeliever, 7, 55, 58, 59, 89-92, 107; as
unmetered expression, 73; and vampires/Count Dracula, 35; as vehicle to reach
God, 27; victorious, triumphant sound of, 95; Washington National Cathedral
premiere of, 39, 47-50; as waves crashing, 38; weeping provoked by, 97, 99; and
womb/childbirth, 44; and wrath of God, 109; and Yom Kippur, 53; as young manÕs
work, 70
atheism, 29,
58-59, 112
autism Ð see Apparition
of the Eternal Church (music) and Clarkson, Ginger
Bach, J.S., 26,
27; as Lutheran, 100; his music as Oriental and barbaric, 100; organ works
played by the young Manoel Felciano, 116; works: "O man, now weep for thy
great sin,Ó 100
The Bar Nothing, 37, 44; naming
of, 31
Beat, Jackie, 11, 24, 35, 51, 74,
95; childhood
of, 24
Becker, Dan, 66, 68, 90, 111; about, 68
Beller, Alexandra, 63
Bernard-Delapierre, Guy, 97
Blake, William Ð see The
Marriage of Heaven and Hell
Blonde, Squeaky, 30, 45, 91-93; Apparition interview, 30;
controversy over, 93-94
Bloom, Harold, 18, 27, 35, 48, 69, 70, 105, 106, 109; Yale seminar
ÒShakespeare and Originality,Ó 18, 72; memory for poetry, 18; as too old to
contemplate his sins, 109
Blowjob (1963 Warhol
film) Ð see Warhol, Andy
Bond, Justin, as Kiki DuRane, 35,
43, 69, 94; role in Shortbus, 44
Buchdahl, Rabbi Angela, 38, 53, 61, 109, 110, 112
Cal Performances,
116
Calloway, Paul,
117
Carnival of
Souls (1962 Herk Harvey film), 35
Carson, Shanti, 29, 49, 50, 85, 120; acquaintance
with director, 85
Caouette,
Jonathan, 35
church, 99; as big black body that hovers over the earth, 70
Church of the Ascension and St. Agnes (DC), 100
Church of St. Mary the Virgin (New York) Ð see Smoky MaryÕs
Church of the Trinity (Paris), 101
Clarkson, Ginger, music therapy
and treatment of autism, 46
Cuenod, Hugues, 70
Cumming, Alan,
16
Dante Ð see The
Inferno
Davis, Angela,
14
Davis, Eisa, 14, 31, 33, 34, 41,
42, 45,
55, 74, 76, 77-80,
84, 98, 101; acquaintance with director, 14; interview with, 80
Dubowski, Sandi, 20-21, 37, 40,
54, 56-57, 81, 85; childhood desire to be autistic, 40; director of Trembling
Before G-d, 20, 54; Hunter College High School, 20
DUMBA Queer
Performing Arts collective, 68
Dusheck,
George, and Apparition interview, 70; and worship of Elisabeth
Schwarzkopf, 57-58
Einstein
on the Beach, 76
Eisenstaedt,
Alfred, 46
Felciano, Manoel, 16, 24, 55,
62, 63, 72, 75, 81, 103, 108, 116, 121; acquaintance with director, 16; childhood organ associations 103;
making out with Alan Cumming in Cabaret revival, 16; falling into orchestra pit in Jesus
Christ Superstar
revival, 16; and father, 24, 72, 103; religious beliefs of, 108; Tony
nomination for Sweeney Todd revival, 16
Festa, Paul, 121, 123; and alienation as atheist,
112-113; audition for and appearances in Shortbus, anthologized essays about, 44, 85;
chamber music studies with Albert Fuller, 9; confrontation with former Supreme
Court Justice Lewis Powell, 17; first filmmaking attempt, 44; member of San
Francisco Symphony Youth Orchestra, 10; member of Testosterone Trio, 15; and
his novel The Breeders, 44; posing for Frank Yamrus ÒRapture Series,Ó and related essay, 46;
response to Apparition (music), 42-43, 66; violin studies with Robert Mann, 23; Yale studies,
17, 18, 36
Formes et couleurs (Swiss art journal) 97
Fuller, Albert, 9, 12, 23, 25, 39,
47, 52, 60, 61, 70, 87, 89, 95-97, 99-100, 104, 115, 117, 119, 121; apartment, 9, 12, 13, 15; Alice
Tully: An Intimate Portrait, author of, 49-50, 119; and caviar, dislike of,
40; as choirboy at Washington National Cathedral, 104, 117; death of, 117;
fluency in French, 40; interview with, 80; keyboard career, 13, 39, 100, 104;
Messiaen, encounter with, 39; Messiaen performances, 39, 47-50, 104; on
Mitchell, John Cameron, 86; as model for angel with flaming feet in John H. de
Rosen mural in Washington National CathedralÕs St. Joseph of Arimathea Chapel,
48; at New York premiere screening of Apparition (film), 119;
pilgrimage to hear Messiaen improvise, 19; religious beliefs of, 99; sexual initiation
of, in pipe organ swell box, 117; teachings of, 9, 23; tendency to confabulate,
49-50; youth, 23, 48
Galapagos Art
Space, 85
Gallman, Ron, 10, 19, 26, 32,
38, 60; acquaintance
with director, 10; as director of San Francisco Symphony Youth Orchestra, 10;
pilgrimage to hear Messiaen improvise, 19
Gilda (1946 Charles
Vidor film), 31
Gomez, Marga, 34, 106
Gordon, Ricky Ian, 38, 48, 105,
113,
120
The Gospel According to Jesus
Christ (1991 JosŽ
Saramago novel), 109-110, 112
Grace Cathedral
(San Francisco), 116
Greenberg, Ilan, 40, 41, 44, 69,
95;
about, 41; on Apparition as sex music, 96
Handler, Daniel, 73
Harker, James,
37, 44, 80, 114
Hartman, Karen, 22, 41
Hayworth, Rita,
31
headphones,
melting of, 85; stabbing of 85-86
Helicon Foundation, 9
Hilmer, Jan, 85, 111
Ideler, Juliette, 70
The Inferno (1308-1321 Dante poem), 48
Jacaranda music
series (Los Angeles), 116
Jacobs,
Paul, 79, 89
Jesus, crucifixion of, 55, 57, 100
Jimmy (childhood friend of Albert
Fuller), 117
The Juilliard School, 9, 12, 23
Juilliard
String Quartet, 23
Kant, Immanuel,
and his notion of the sublime, 110
Kiki &
Herb, 35 (see also Bond, Justin, as Kiki DuRane)
Kiki DuRane Ð see Bond, Justin, as Kiki DuRane
Kiviniemi, Kalevi, 33
Koestenbaum, Wayne, 36, 42, 52, 53, 60, 61, 62, 63, 68, 107, 114, 120; Yale English class, 36
Kubrick,
Stanley Ð see 2001 Space Odyssey
Latry, Olivier, 34, 87
Leonardo Ð see Mona Lisa
Levingston, Bruce, 120
Lewis, Flossie, 70
Loriod (Loriod-Messiaen), Yvonne,
111
MacDowell Colony, 36
Mann, Robert, 26; Apparition
interview, 26, 70; teachings of, 23
The Marriage
of Heaven and Hell (1790-1793 William Blake book), 111-112
Matronic, Ana, 25, 42, 52, 53, 89,
98
Messiaen (2005 biography by Peter Hill and
Nigel Simeone), 53, 60, 97-98, 101
Messiaen, Olivier, 7; alleged
anti-Semitism and relationship with Nazis, 56-59; and birdsong 59; and
Christian mysticism, 98; and the church, 100; and complexity, 89-92, 107; as
corporeal, 107; criticism of for disparity between music and theme, 53; and
crucifixion of Christ, 42, 100; and Cubism, 98; defense of own work, 60; and
dissonance, 60; encounter with Albert Fuller, 39-40; eroticism of his music,
95-98; eternity represented in his music, 90-92, 103-105; fondness for caviar,
40; and four Òdramas,Ó 59; and horror films, appreciation of, 111; hedonism in
his music, 114; ignorance of English, 40; and limits of human perception,
90-92; modes of limited transposition, 67; as nudnik, 106; organ post at the
Church of the Trinity, 19, 101; and pagan violence, 98; recordings and
interpretations by, 87; regard for criticism of his work, 105; and repetition,
105; his rhythm derived from Dominican and Gregorian chant, 103-104; and
secular audience, 59; and sensuality, abandonment to, 98; surrender to his
music, 114; and synaesthesia, 29, 59; 2008 centenary, 74, 116; works: Ascension
Suite, 43, 47; Book
of the Holy Sacrament,
79; Celestial Banquet, 33; complete organ works, 34; From the Canyons to the Stars, 39; Hymn to the Holy
Sacrament, 53; Nativity Suite, 43; Organ Book, 43; Quartet for the End of Time, 56; Visions of Amen, 96 (see also Apparition of
the Eternal Church [music])
Mitchell, John Cameron, 44, 52,
64, 69, 70, 71, 86, 88; acquaintance of director, 44; music video for Bright Eyes,
46
Mona Lisa (c. 1503-1505
Leonardo painting), 19
music therapy,
46
Nazis, 56-58,
97
Nietzsche,
Friedrich Ð see Also Sprach Zarathustra
Notre Dame
(Paris), 25, 79
Nuxoll, Dan, 121
Oh My God, making of, 74
Oppens, Ursula,
38
Owen, Barry, 68
organ, in a cathedral, 77, 103,
104, 115, 116, 117; as double-entendre, 34; as goyish instrument, 54;
headphones and, 77; as hyper-embodied, 114; as instrument to terrorize the
Jewish people, 54; and the pogrom, 56
Paglia, Camille and objections to Apparition (film), 52
Pig Iron Theater Company, 38
The Positive Bar, 13, 15
Povinelli, Elizabeth, 32, 40,
48, 49, 84, 110, 111;
personal experience of Catholicism, 32, 84
Queen Latifah,
14
Radical
Faeries, 67, 73
Ragdale Foundation, 33
Rapetti, Marco,
15
The Rest Is
Noise (2007 Alex Ross book) Ð see Alex Ross
Riley, Terry Ð
see In C
Rogers, John, 67, 108
Ross, Alex, The
Rest Is Noise, 65
Sage, Texxxas, 73, 81
St. Agnes
Church (San Francisco), 116
St.
BartholomewÕs Church (New York), 77, 116, 119
San Francisco
Symphony Youth Orchestra, 10
Sanford, Sarah,
38, 52
Saramago, JosŽ
Ð see The Gospel According to Jesus Christ
The Scissor
Sisters, 25
Scream,
Teen, Scream (1996 Joshua Rosenzweig movie), 11
Schwarzkopf,
Elisabeth, 57-58
Sex Film
Project Ð see Shortbus
Shakespeare,
William Ð see Titus Andronicus
Shortbus (2006
John Cameron Mitchell movie), 44, 68, 73, 85; see also Mitchell, John Cameron
Smoky MaryÕs,
a.k.a. Church of St. Mary the Virgin (New York), 25, 79, 89
Southern
Circuit Tour of Independent Filmmakers, 112, 116
Snicket,
Lemony, 73
Stern, Johan,
15
Strauss,
Richard Ð see Also Sprach Zarathustra
Stresen-Reuter,
Ned, 66
Struth, Thomas,
46
Testosterone
Trio (The Testostertones), 13, 15; visit to Alice Tully, 49-50
Titus
Andronicus, 72
Trafka,
William, 77, 121
Trannyshack,
25, 30
Tully, Alice,
apartment, 40; challenging Albert FullerÕs religious beliefs, 99; silver caviar
tureen and matching shovel, 40; visit by Testosterone Trio after her stroke,
49-50
2001 Space
Odyssey, 29, 32, 52
Unetaneh Tokef
(Hebrew prayer), 110
Warhol, Andy,
46
Warner, Michael, 67, 107, 114; on Messiaen and
limits of human perception, 89-92
Washington
National Cathedral (DC), 39, 47-50, 104, 117; and St. Joseph of Arimathea
Chapel mural ÒThe Entombment of Christ,Ó by John H. de Rosen, 48
Yale
University, 17, 18, 36, 67
Yamrus, Frank, 46